Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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