woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
