I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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