i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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