I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
