I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
