So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
