Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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