Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
