I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
