I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
