Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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