smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
