shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're a waste of cheezeits
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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