Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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