Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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