I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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