I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
