If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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