O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Found the puke drawer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
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