We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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