somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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