I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
