Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
