He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i believe in u and ur pee
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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