Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize