how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
