my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
