Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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