I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
