The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
