Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
