whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
