dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize