...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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