we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
