I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
