I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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