I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
