I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
