You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
