The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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