I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
