I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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