yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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