my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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