she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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