Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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