Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
