we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Enjoy the penises
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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