i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I won the penis lottery.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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