I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
