I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
