you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
