his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
