she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
try to milk me bitch
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