And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
