There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
