i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
