There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
