I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
