My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
