Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
