So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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