fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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