i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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