I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
