Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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