I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
