dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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